ADHD Paralysis.

ADHD paralysis is not a medical term, it’s just something that a lot of people with ADHD say they experience. It's very real however, and in some cases, it gets mistaken for depression. In this post I'm going to discuss ADHD Paralysis. Let’s learn what it is, why it happens to us and learn some strategies that might help.

ADHD paralysis can feel like you have been hijacked into a parallel universe. Even knowing that you have a lot to do, you can end up feeling frozen in one place, overwhelmed by multiple tasks and you can’t seem to find anywhere to start. You can stay stuck like that for hours... even days. It can affect not only your thoughts but also your body. It's like being stuck in a web… we can experience heaviness… and we can feel like we have a headache.

You can be stuck doom scrolling, staring at a wall, lying in bed or just watching tv and switching channels all the time. You might it call procrastination. You may call yourself lazy. You’re not. This isn’t something you do to yourself because you’re lacking. It’s an actual thing. Always remember that. This isn’t your fault. It can be really hard to talk about too. You can feel like you are letting everyone around you down. Not showing up. Not doing what is expected from you. Berating yourself. Being late. Not getting everything done on time.

These are common things that we do in paralysis.

A. Watch tv

B. Stare into space

C. Lie in bed

D. Scroll on your phone

E. Eat

F. Talk on the phone

G. Cry

H. Pace

I. Sit immobilised

J. Become flustered

K. Get angry and short tempered

L. Hide in the toilet

M. Feel anxious

N. Ruminate and get thoughts stuck in a loop

O. Berate yourself.

So - we can act out paralysis in many different ways.

Essentially there are three types. Mental paralysis, choice paralysis and task paralysis.

Mental Paralysis.

Mental paralysis can result from you simply being given too much information to process at once. ADHDers don’t often deal with lots of information being thrown at us quickly at and well, our brains can turn to mush. At least that’s what it feels like from the inside. It’s weird though, because we can be so capable at other times, then someone gets out the masher and just combines what’s in our heads into a big messy splosh of everything. It can feel like a really heavy weight has descended onto you. Someone at work can be explaining something and you can be like nodding but none of the information is staying in. We can forget where we are. Where we have put things. We can stare at words on a page, and they become meaningless. We try to read but the words don’t stick. We can literally feel as if we have been trapped into a really weird place.

We can forget what we are about to say if there’s too much going at once. Our minds can go blank, our emotions can blob together, and we won’t even know how to identify what we are feeling in that moment. This kind of paralysis can occur during moments of high stress, or when you have lots on your plate. We tend to then reach for things to make us feel better. Like chocolate cake, alcohol and other stuff. Ever sat eating a packet of chips and then the packet is empty only you don’t remember eating the whole packet? That's paralysis.

I was in a job interview once and this really serious panel of experts asked me about my research which I’d just worked on for a year. I forgot what the topic was. Couldn’t remember anything. My mind just went blank. I sat there looking at this panel of people and it made it look like it wasn’t even my research. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t even know I had ADHD at that point. I just thought I was terrible at doing interviews. Horrible experience and it made me feel ashamed for years. Of course once the interview was over I could have talked for hours about my research. I was so buy 'presenting well' for the interview my mind couldn't retain any other information. I didn't get the job either and yet I'd been the preferred candidate. Ouch.

ADHD choice paralysis: Also known as ‘analysis paralysis.’ People with ADHD often like to investigate their choices before making a decision. So we get out our spreadsheets, our phones, our laptops and we start to go down the rabbit hole of research. I once wanted to buy a vacuum cleaner. It’s not hard. I made it hard. So, so hard in fact. I visited various stores, tested every vacuum cleaner they had, in store, looked at online reviews and read all the specifications. I ended up with a mammoth amount of information. At the end of the day though, I couldn’t choose which one to buy because they all kind of looked okay and I was overwhelmed with all the information I’d collected. I wasn't able to use the information to make a final decision.

ADHDers like to find out the details in things. In fact, we can make the process of researching facts about things into an actual project. We forget what we were trying to find out about because now we have to manage a whole file of facts. We’ll go and get so many tester paint colours for our walls for example, that when we stand back we can’t choose because there are now too many choices.

Task paralysis is where we know what we need to do, but for some reason we aren’t able to prioritise where to start. We just see all the tasks that we need to do in a pile. We can stare at this pile or even move the pile to tomorrow because then there’s no pile in our faces today. We can lock the pile in another room and then go and sit in an empty room. We can randomly move tasks to different days, but we never quite know which order things should be done and how long they will take. Some give us an immediate physical feeling too. Like ugh.

Here’s one of the weird things about this. We’ll think of a task we need to do and then start imagining ourselves doing it. Over and over. We like freeze on the sofa, and we ruminate about doing the task. We don’t get up and do it… we just imagine ourselves doing it over and over. Weird hey. Getting mail out of the letter box and opening the envelope? Nope. Paying bills? Nope. Filling up the car with petrol when the needle is hitting red? Nope. That literally freezes me on the spot that one. The fear of running out of petrol is so great I then can’t fill up with petrol. It’s like the task get more complicated, the more you think about doing it.

Okay there ways to help us when we freeze and feel overwhelmed. I think with ADHD it’s good to remember that it’s something that we manage and not cure. There are going to be days where we just don’t stay on top of things and that’s okay. We need to have more good days than bad days. That’s usually a good place to start. We want that dopamine in our brains to increase.

Get a calendar. A piece of paper. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Use your phone, use the one on your computer or get a piece of paper and a pen. With ADHD we need to externalise the important stuff because otherwise we’re holding on to way too much stuff up here. Our heads get full. Then they get overloaded. We literally forget to write stuff down. So, first things first. At the beginning of each day, LOOK at the list or your calendar. We forget to do that too. Set an alarm. Have a noise remind you to look at the list. We’re going to forget we have the list remember, plus forget to look at it. So we need reminders.

When we externalise information we can let go of it. Now there are lots of apps around that do fancy listing and organising of your stuff. I tried one of them, but the fact that I had to remember to sit down and remember everything at once to put into it, was too much. I went back to a pencil and some paper. I blue tac it onto my wall. Somewhere where I see it when I walking past. Otherwise, I won’t remember where I’ve stuck it.

Remember, people with ADHD need to SEE something to be reminded. So, with tasks, make sure you get into the habit of writing them down the minute you know you have to do them. Brain dump your stuff out.

Big stuff? Don’t let the bigness of the task get in the way of doing it. Easier said than done… but imagine you can chip away at a little bit often… or you could use your hyper-focus and just get stuck in. Doing nothing means nothing gets done… and some tasks just ain’t going to complete themselves.

We can get feelings paralysis. When we shut down emotionally it’s because we haven’t checked in with ourselves for a while. We don’t do that. ADHD people will have a headache and not notice. A sore leg and not notice until they stop. Then then go… oh, I actually hurt. Same with all our emotions. They just build and then they get heavy and then we’re flat on our backs. Most of the time we’re busy, we’re doing stuff and then bang. Down we go. We have to check in with ourselves regularly. Stop and ask yourself – what am I feeling right now? What emotion is this? Am I okay or am I not okay? Has someone upset me… have I dealt with it? Seriously, none of us ask ourselves if we are okay enough during any given day. We carry so much around with us. Sometimes it just all banks up. We end up sitting on the couch staring into space feeling really bad and not even knowing why. Or waking up in the night and then bang! We’ve got fifty things to deal with and it feels awful.

Have you checked in with yourself today? Try it now. Close your eyes now and for the next thirty seconds, try and label how you are feeling.

Did anything come up for you?

How long have you been carrying this around do you think?

Do you need to put it down?

A quick tip by the way is to get up and move if you feel you are in paralysis. Walk around the room a few times, do some star jumps if you can, dance to some music. The act of breaking that stationary mode we get in to, can snap you out of it. Drink some water. Then choose one thing that you need to do. A small task. It could be to go put the lid on your toothpaste or empty the garbage bin. Go do it. Then pat yourself on the back. Tell yourself ‘well done.’ It’s not easy if you’re in paralysis to do anything, so a small achievement is just that. An achievement.

If you do think you’re in a paralysis, find something that grounds you. A song, the smell of a particular candle, patting your dog. Don’t overwhelm yourself with news and stimulation. Don’t add to the pile. If you haven’t caught up with your current thoughts, don’t add to them. Sometimes watching funny stuff is good too. Have a laugh. Releasing some endorphins can make you feel so much better. Also, don’t try to self-medicate when in paralysis. It’s tempting, but alcohol for instance, can make you feel worse in the long term. If you're already sitting starting into space on a couch, adding alcohol is going to compound that.

Paralysis can hit us out of the blue. It might even be something that has triggered us. We start the day off great and then something happens and it’s like we’ve fallen down a hole. It can make no sense. But I want you to remember that it isn’t something you are doing deliberately. I want you to remain kind to yourself.

It will dissipate and you will feel better. I promise.

Bad days are just that. It's not permanent. Give yourself some room to understand your own ADHD. What does your paralysis look like? What triggers it? What have you found that helps? Leave your comments for other people to read. You may just help someone get through their day :-)

In the meantime. Please be kind to yourself.

Juliette